ComeBackOnlyLoneliness
Every time I come back there is always and only loneliness, apathy gestures.
cold calls, stalactites of daily stresses and future commitments.
And each time point. Every time I hope that in addition to the list of daily events there is also something more, something small and on fire, something that beats, a little hedgehog that opens with a caress, a small meteorite full of universes cosmic significantly.
Whenever this drive from the stomach and bowels, abdomen and slowly up the gorge, between the vocal cords and the palate.
Not even a start, only a continuous push for something supersensible in all directions. as if a hand came through a cut in the stomach at the top, first as a fist then open to all five fingers deforming the wall .. And so in my throat, a hand squeezes the vocal cords, unites seemingly turning into a big and long X-chromosome, and thus also on the palate, behind the uvula a hand trying to get out of the neck. And the salt in his eyes, they burn and cry, cry and burn what it lacks soul .. love. And the distance is a lottery, and commitments are a perennial bad luck continued, "not knowing" and "postpone". Everything is hypothetical, everything is nothing until it actually is. Everything is hard, dry, expired, apathetic, cold, damp.
In the end you can smell, but this is not an end. This is the smell of loneliness, stress and desire of love, desire and will to the role of attention important for someone else, perhaps it is rather important among all the other distractions. You are evil, but not everyone is able to show what its like, not everyone is willing to say anything, likely to explain the mood and needs.
Will this body to take my soul in a cage, a prison of emotions of elevation, the censorship of freedom, failed to return to the state of nature. for free can be so bad that the first dedicated to the philosophy, truth and knowledge, but then we must die to get rid of their cell body. die. But who says that the extreme suffering of the soul can not remove the 'importance which normally takes the body?
Up to void, to make a single first floor: the chaos, the cyclone.
That tornado that sweeps away everything except the hand that pushes, knotting and deforms. Who says you can not die inside? Still temporarily.
Who says you can not make an effort? Who says I do not make the biggest mistake you? Who says that this distance must necessarily divide? Who says I can live without you I can not.
And without you does it mean without your attention,
your sweetness, your consideration for me between the commitments of life.
Perhaps there too.
not only work commitments, sports, legislative and passions.
Maybe ..
There Too. And I say this with the strings Voice and chromosomal with the hand that is now double in the stomach and the palate, eyes burning and crying, his head and heart that wants to go out that does not want to think more [and vice versa]. I no longer want to feel bad, not with you, not for you, not for us.
Byebye my darling
this night is going to go on
and whitout you, whitout your thought
ps: do not read as you want, no I did not left with my boyfriend and I will not be with him, and moments that are just steps I feel tonight Contra
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