Thursday, September 23, 2010
Romantic Anniversary, Tampa, Fl
I broke the balls to be as
my sick head I
requires a long time.
because in the meantime I can not live peacefully??
Exactly.
's just a bit of serenity I k.
write.
write x not cut.
Why a strong desire to do so.
I
always want to cut.
k are two weeks I made a deal cn psychiatrist about this, but tonight I could easily break
. K
I hope to be so severe cn
myself in this case is not to do so to comply with the covenants. Because I
on this condition I want. I followed the diet
4days.
Perhaps shrink a bit, but little, ok.
Then on the evening of Day 4, start over.
E 'binge that smacks of anger inside.
I was really pissed off
seemingly quiet
k so neither do I. I realized.
It 's like a whirlwind, a tornado leaves only k
destruction.
1pizza
1fetta salami and a half nutella tart icy
4cornettini.
not for me to do lists.
not for me to not throw up anything I feel guilty xk x positive those earlier days.
as if they had soiled.
But good bulimic pathology
well watered all with 25 drops of laxative
[note the package is written k max 7-8]
Apart from the excruciating pain the next day, was enough to wear on me x
return to calm.
Part of my brain screams
FUCK.
Here k esattattamente dopo2 days
sounded here.
back to square one.
"at best .. x2 days, you will deceive yourself k smepre well, that this time will be different.
- I know him well this mechanism -
- know them well all these bales -
then falls, because of course, can not be straightened.
Only this time I accept it. "
I have to.
As the sense of failure is great.
Huge.
As I've wanted to see my own blood .
I can not accept to be back round the supermarket to fill me with stuff to spend all that money
x vent
an avalanche suicide.
I can not accept my stomach gastritis due
vomiting, purging
,
to all the evil that can give me.
Voracious inside.
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