Thursday, November 26, 2009

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

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The parables of Shelburne ... more ... more

The parable of the lamb and the wolf repented of Cosenza.

At that time there lived a ferocious wolf, the author of many crimes, but ... sorry to have told a few lies, he wanted to fix it. Someone suggested
:
- See wolf quell'agnellino grazing in green fields under blue skies? You have to gobble it to you. Go and bite. -
And the wolf came, but they can not attack him without being seen, had to demonstrate that they have reason, and so he said all'agnellino
- You give me dirty water -
- But how would I feel if you're in a mountain? .
... and in fact, superior Stabat lupus .... and the water flows from upstream to downstream ...
demorse but the wolf (as they say) and said
- year - and this year he said - thou didst give a bag with fifty thousand dinars €! -
- In that year the dinars were still in lire, and not € -
- You have encountered the robber - and here he said the name - in fact in 94 years ... 80! -
- But the robber was in jail in 93 -
- So you've met in 92. -
- Also in 1992 he was in jail -
- So you've met his son -
- He was in jail, and I could not meet him -
The crowd of peasants armed with scythes, and carpenters became menacing armed with a hammer against the lamb, screaming
- Have you been accused, resign! -
One-eyed man of Braga, and in constant disagreement with dall'eloquio subjunctives, came to join them, shouting
- Resign, without process! If I would have been accused, saressi I resigned, I say. You say you're innocent? And c'azzecca? Resign! -
pity that the same person he had just received parliamentary immunity to avoid being tried, but, you know, code Maga Magò rightly says that the resignation by those who pretend to be and who's not.

Word of Shelburne.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

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The parables of Shelburne

The parable of Sotuttoio

At that time there was a sailor, whose name and surname Sotuttoio Voinonsapeteniente, that from port to port, from site to site, he found himself floating on a wood very wrong.
When he arrived, without saying or hello, or good evening, without saying goodbye, which is something vile mortal bored said:
- Since I am asked to talk about it as if it was something important, I write what I think about the ruling of the European Court, on the crucifix in schools -
... and you want, we were all anxious to know his authoritative opinion, and none of us would have stayed if he had not spoken, spoke as an oracle.
So, unable to utter a word, listened to so much wisdom and much wisdom to honor our humble ears.
And he graciously honored us, yes, but that does not happen again, that we are not worthy of so great an honor!
- Traditions are not immortal - oh, what grace in setting MISUSE absolute truth!
- ... there is no 'more' Pharaoh - oh no, this was not to tell us, we still expected it to dinner!
- traditions end, and the roots are broken, as were important. -
... I told him to pull slowly carrots, which otherwise would break. But now that he made it clear Sotuttoio be more careful.
- Christianity and ... 'was an important roots, and was part of the European cultural tradition. Not any more.
repeat: no longer. It is about time someone had the courage to say it .- and luckily there was a brave.
a bit and think, 'if she had not repeated, what damage it would have young minds thirsting for knowledge! And while so much
speaker spoke, the humble ignorant people fall asleep but was awakened by his loud voice shouting
- I could show you your profound ignorance, making the tricky questions trivial trivial such as "angels have faith?" or what not "Satan Satan can 'be considered a good Christian?" for - er, here used a crude term, I would spare you that ... so let's say that said
- eat as many sausages hanging from the beam. And this for a second property 'that the "Christian" of today: do not know their own religion. -
know what religion the Christians, perhaps the Buddhist or the Hindus? Many are led to believe that the wise poet thought the Shinto religion. In a half-sleep nap
eun came the arrows
- ... all you should spend your life wondering "how Christ would in this situation? - And then

- You do? You're acting, every day, how would he? No, you do not. None of you do it .-
and again
- Cosi ', I repeat, I have bad news for you: not only is' dead Christianity, with all its "traditions", but there' worse. Catholicism is dead, and died because of the Catholics. -

People started to think, but look that bad news that gives the news, and no one was aware of the drama.
And while the poor people, unable to implement such a verb, dozed, and some, alas, snoring loudly, his voice kept shouting
- Worse, is that not even know why. I stopped being a Christian, and when I say that I stopped what I can tell you that I left. -
But at that point was no one left awake.
Sotuttoio continued to harangue the crowd with sleeping eyes and booming voice of Braga, but those poor men just continued to snore and turn over in his sleep, so the poet immense and angry that she had not leave, slamming the door.
There was a scream, and curse angrily from behind the door
- Man, every time I close my tail in the door! -

Word of Shelburne.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

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... The parables of continuous Shelburne Shelburne

The parable of colors

At that time there was a nice market, crowded of people who buy everything. But
were put out by the tyrant and said that no one could buy or vinda fabrics of blue, because they were the symbol of the prince, and his sickly fairy tales.
This was done, and no one bought more blue cloth.

But then again the messengers returned saying that you could neither buy nor vinda of green cloth, because the colors reminded of Robin Hood, and his friends thieves.
And so it was done, and no one bought it.

And then put them back to prohibit buying or vinda of yellow cloth, which offended the Sun, and the white ones that offended the Moon, and no one will bought for such colors.

And then back again to prohibit the fabrics of pink and brown ones, and those of any other color that was not gray.

And so the world turned gray, and disappeared vitality and even smile on the faces of children. And who wants to understand

understand, so the others are so full of pride who do not will never understand.

Word of Shelburne.

The parable of flavors.

At that time they were the messengers of the tyrant and said that those who had eaten of the salt would have been imprisoned, because salt retains fluids and make you fat, which is bad for your health and mind of the tyrant. They returned

the messengers of the tyrant and said that those who ate sugar or something sweet would be imprisoned, because sugar makes you fat, which is bad for your health and mind of the tyrant.

And yet returned to prohibit the pungent and spicy, and heard about the new flavor of the broth, also forbade that, and each diner would eat only unleavened bread and water, to give honor to the tyrant.

Despite much love for them, however, the people, ungrateful, complaining of that food without flavor. But he, the tyrant, rebuked them for wanting to offend, eating salty food, who could not eat, and eating the cake, the one who could not make use, and so on.
In his great wisdom
the tyrant retired to his room, letting the people murmured.

Word of Shelburne

The parable of the restaurant.

At that time a traveler was eating his dinner in a restaurant, and had already raised the fork to spear a bite of pork chop, which had just cut, when the owner of the restaurant took his plate from under the fork.
- What insolence is this? - Snapped the traveler, with the fork still in the air.
- I'm sorry, sir, but that gentleman over there is Muslim and are offended if you eat pork, which, you know, according to his faith is very impure. -
- Mica eat it to him f or him, who'd understand ... he has to take offense of what I eat? -
- you can eat pork at home, but this is a public place, and you can not offend other people's ideas -
- those of others, no, but as mine is? -
- Lord, do not v'inquietate for charity, which will bring you a beautiful Florentine steak, that this is not pork. -
The traveler, who was an easygoing type, and to prove it had settled on the stool, which served as chair, agreed to return, for the sake of peace, but added
- Bring me a red one, however good, is that with the Florentine his death! -
- We Brunello di Montalcino excellent vintage -
- This pleases me, take it then. -
And after a short time came with a wonderful bottle
- Feel how wonderful, fragrance that comes out of my basement quest'orgoglio! -
- I have to agree that's a nice drink. Come on, pour - said, raising his glass
- You do not want to drink on an empty stomach? -
- Heavens no, wait for the Florentine -
The man walked away, but while the traveler was lost in thought, he came back, poured the brunello from the glass back into the bottle and was about to leave
- What the hell .. .? -
- s'inquieti not for charity, but you should also know that wine is impure and offensive a devout Muslim -
The traveler was about to open his mouth, but that had already moved away with the bottle.
And shortly after he returned with a jug of cold water.
- Believe me there is nothing better than a shot of pure, crystalline source -
- will - he resigned the wayfarer, unconvinced.
But finally his face brightened at the sight of a juicy steak and overflowing.
- Urca, if magna! - Finally exclaimed cheerfully.
But he had just cut a nice piece of meat smoking, and had stabbed his fork, lifting it up to the mouth craving, when someone took the fork out of hand, threw the cut piece into the pot, and took away the steak.
- For thousands and thousands of dunes of the Sahara, which does all this mean? -
- unfortunately - whispered embarrassed owner of the restaurant - has entered the Indian gentleman, and, you know, their religion is very offensive to eat meat of cows ... but can I do for a bass that will make you Aquolina in the mouth! -
- Go for bass - the traveler agreed, while eating
- Oh no! - Interjected another traveler who had come just at that moment - as a vegetarian I can not allow that use is made of meat animals. Are eggs, milk, tasty vegetables, fruits and plenty to eat -
- Fruits, vegetables, eggs and milk? Ma .. This is fine, but soon, the My stomach complaint with arrogance! -
- Wait a minute! - Interrupted another traveler came at that moment - I am vegan, and I will not let you eat eggs, or milk, which are foods that come from farms ... oh, you do not know what horrors, such as lager these farms are for those poor animals, which instead should live free and wild. -
- And then go for fruits and vegetables -
- ... but that is not captured on the tree! You can eat only what naturally falls from the tree, and nothing else -
The traveler, however, at this point lost patience, and what happened next is very unbecoming to tell.

Word of Shelburne.


The parable a wonderful visit.

At that time we discussed with the family on where to go on vacation.
The father proposed to go up the river Ister to the two cities of Buda and Pest, and maybe even beyond, up to that village where Possoni eat more pork chops for those that are breaded in Mediolanum.
The youngest son, a lover of Norse fjords, and suggested instead the Costa Brava.
Dipietrus jumped up, all red and exclaimed, with eyes of
sling - But I say, I say, if you say you like the fjords ... c'azzecca that the Costa Brava?
fjords If you said, I anderessi in Denmark! -
- The fjords are Norway - pointed out the usual prissy
- And if I was in Denmark, staressi not so far away from Norway, I say -
snapped Dipietrus even more red, and eyes even more wide open.
At this point, the blonde daughter eagerly outside his preference for a holiday in Germany, among the tribes of the Cimbri and the Teutons, peaceful and cheerful. Salsiccine and beer in large quantities.
But his mother cut him short.
- Too many choices, so as not to hurt anybody, we all wrong. Choose the "neutral". He stays at home. -
And so it was said, and it was done.
Amen.

Word of Shelburne.